Healing Mixtape 2.0 AKA The Break Up Letter

 As some of you know I express myself through songs. I love music 🎶 lyrics that can craft a story. I am going through a break up. It’s not as intense as my previous relationships because I am stronger, wiser and well protected. 

I created a new healing mixtape for myself because the last one is couple years old.

Check it out!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1nvHjvkw8048leEPH2r8Hd?si=zCFLmdUqRoysrJdUARel-w&pi=u-Cy-96RC-RRO9

Transparency Moments: Mental Health Crisis Plan as of 2024

I am not ok. While I am high functioning and coping with life. I am not ok. I am completely fearful. Why? I can't remove the image of #SonyaMassey being unalive from my head. I saw so much of myself in Sonya. I have been in my home, hearing noises and calling for help before... in my robe and gown. Cooking to calm myself down or boiling water for tea to soothe my nerves. I can't sleep because I spent time online looking at videos where people insist she brought it onto herself. For those of you who don't know, there are some reports that Sonya was having a mental breakdown. I can relate, in my experience I had psychosis. The thought of blaming a person for an illness they can't control is disturbing. Sonya needed help. I, just like her, have needed help. I couldn't continue to let these feelings of fear fester, so I am going to share with you what my emergency plan looks like as of now especially if I reach out to you in a crisis.

 1. Encouragement- To encourage me to sleep. If you have the capacity, send soothing music, podcasts, TEDtalks, etc. These things help me slow down. I also immensely enjoy music, especially gospel and meditation. My patterns are if I am not getting enough rest then my brain chemistry is off. So this is the first step, encouraging me to rest. 

 2. Notify my loved ones- If I am not sounding "clear" or "in reality", reach out to my mother or godfather. They have experience with the third step but it's important to notify my family because they would be the ones providing direct care after treatment. 

 3. Seek help from a MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS CENTER- This step is something I adamantly do not like but it's NECESSARY for my health. If I am "spiraling '' out of control, TAKE ME TO A CRISIS CENTER. DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. If my loved ones can not get to me in a timely fashion, I beg of you DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. I encourage you to take me to the nearest crisis center. I will explain why this step is CRITICAL.

Two reasons: 

 A. My experience with the police has NOT been pleasant while in crisis. (If you want to know my personal experience, inbox me.)

 B. If you call the police, they will call Emergency Medical Services (EMS) and they will bill ME for a crisis ride via ambulance. Sometimes MY insurance will not cover this expense. Being admitted to the hospital is something I used to be ASHAMED of but it’s an important step to rebalancing my brain chemistry. Undisturbed rest with no distractions for a few weeks has helped me when medication only has not. 

 As I mentioned earlier in the post, this is my crisis plan. It’s no blueprint for others but based on my own personal experience, observations of self and feedback from my loved ones over the last 8 years. I do feel it’s also important to take a moment to discuss your crisis plan. Mental illness affects your loved ones too. I also encourage you if your smartphone has a medical emergency plan, update it. If you have any questions on my experience with hospitalizations or how to seek resources out, my inbox is always open. 

I hope this is helpful. 

Transparently Growing, Caprice aka Caziah

REST IN POWER, #SONYAMASSEY 

RESOURCES: 

News article on new Detroit Crisis Center 

The Detroit Wayne Integrated Health Network 

National Alliance on Mental Illness

Manifest Thirty One

 **If you want to recommend a mental health hospital in the Metro Detroit, please inbox me. 

I was shadow banned on that other site so I use my blog to share in case you need support. 

 Image

D'Angelo- Prayer

Am I losing my damn MIND?!

My apprenticeship is ending in a couple of days. 

I applied for a second year extension or fellowship for my contract & it was rejected. 

 I honestly did not want to complete a second year. I desire deeply to travel and dedicate some time to self discovery. Since I planted my feet in Detroit, I have been searching for creating some stability. 

Spending a great deal of my life attempting to prove that I am"real adult" led to me sacrificing a lot enjoyable moments like deepening my friendships, creating artwork, discovery of self and relaxing. 

It's  also been a difficult year facing hard decision making, a failed relationship and moving back into family's home. 

I desire so badly to renew my spirit. 

A fresh start on perspective of the world and life. 

It's essential to keeping my sanity at this point! 

A couple nights before receiving my rejection letter, I created a Master Plan for a documentary about transformative leadership: community organizers, gathering spaces, cross cultural programs that uplifting communities. It's my love offering to my city. We often hear narratives about a broken Detroit. However, there's a big story that isn't being told. 

I am sure across the nation there are more communities like Southwest, North Rosedale and Core City that enriching the experience of residents. I am sure of it!

So....

I am losing my damn mind and LAUNCH a crowdfunding site to support my next step.

Caprice Woods

The Film Maker 

Stay Tuned... 

I am...

I don't want to dare say that I am back... for the umpth time.

However, I am feeling renewed.

If you haven't noticed, I changed the title of the blog from Conversing Caziah to Whimsical Playgrounds.

It feels more fitting for the time being.

I am single now.

It was the best decision Spirit could ushered in.

I am feeling a bit more confident after feeling rejected.

It's beautiful to rediscover self again after a breakup.

Every day I am constantly looking moments to pump my Spirit up with good things.

Whether I am..

listening to music..

enjoying a good meal...

relaxing...

or restarting my blog.

Good things are all around....

and

I am thrilled.

Listening to : Jill Scott - Spring Summer Feeling 

The 3 Month Frugal Date Challenge

Yes! I renamed the challenge! :) 

I decided to do this challenge for a few reasons. 

One of them being that I am currently doing the 52 Week Money Challenge. (http://doublesavingdivas.com/2013/01/08/52-week-money-challenge/) with a few friends. 

Also I wanted to challenge myself to make the most of the time I spend with my sweetheart. We have a wonderful time with each other. I want to continue to make fond memories to reflect upon. :)

Lastly, I am a very frugal young woman being that I pay for my own education, I am ALWAYS looking to spare a couple of dollars. *Ahem, ain't nothing wrong with saving some cash!*

Kiesha & I had a conversation about adjusting the amount marker for the challenge to $20 instead of $10 because... "we love to eat!"

So do I! *rubs tummy slowly*

The Rules:

For 3 Months & 12 dates you must record in a note or post a photo of your frugal date. With each posting, please include your date activity, meal and cost. 

At the end of challenge thank Noah & I for making your pockets fatter! LOL..

No seriously.... 

At the end of the challenge, the last couple or person standing will receive a FREE $20 gift card!

WOOT! FREE MONEY! 

(You must complete 12 DATES to be selected!)

I would suggest that you all make use of blogs, Groupon, your local library, and even Craiglist to explore ideas for your dates. 

Here's a date example:

*Note: I am a weirdo. I love to do odd things so keep in mind that your dates (being with/out a partner can be as strange as mines or weirder. LOL)

Saturday: Selecting a Wine for a Later Date at Trader Joe's : $9, Villa Alena Moscato d'Asti

Jazz Music at the Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe, Admission: FREE!

Spray Roses: ??? *Noah surprised me with FLOWERS!

2 Glasses of Wine : $10

Dinner at Hot Tacos: $ 6

Date Total:

$25 (over) whomp, whomp!

*I told my sister about this date and she said, "Who eats tacos after a glass of wine?!" Well, we do. LOL*

I found a couple links that may help you guys out!

Couples:

20 Dates Under $20!: http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/anniversaries-dating-ideas/slideshows/20-dates-under-20.aspx

10 Dates Under $10: http://blog.datehookup.com/10-dates-under-10-dollars/

$10 Meals with Melissa Darabian:  http://www.foodnetwork.com/ten-dollar-dinners-with-melissa-darabian/recipes/index.html

10 Dates Under $10 Buckeroos: http://littlelucktree.blogspot.com/2012/02/10-dates-under-10-dollars.html

Singles:

DIY Spa Treatments: http://www.mybeautybunny.com/diy-spa-treatments-bathroom/

Try a New Resturant: http://www.yelp.com

Friends:

Roller-Derby:http://www.groupon.com/deals/gl-border-city-brawlers-1?pt=aUR7ooDAAAACtjoRtyKpA7mJ-JDOEIgbX

Comedy  Show: http://comedycastle.com/show.cfm?id=206882

Local:

Free Jazz Concert: http://www.freeismylife.com/2013/02/free-valentine-concert-with-alexander.html

Alright! GET READY, GET SET, go be FRUGAL! (Seriously, get outta here!)

My Lazy Summer Picture Blog 2012 Part 1

I have so much to SHARE!

Okay.... here we go!

I love the interesting stuff you see on the city bus. 

       I reached my goal!!!

Trip to the Arcade with the family

Funky Outfit for the 1st time

Oh I decided to not cut my hair ANYMORE. I love cutting it in the summer because my hair is so MASSIVE. I decided to see how long it will grow. Hmmph...

I will be selling art at....

ILLPLAYBILL, Detroit's new Hip Hop Theater Group is proud to present: A Man Can Change Pt #3: DEDICATION. The Words, Music, Art, and Stories of 7 Men. Saturday, April 21st 8pm at Jazz Cafe Detroit. The evening will be hosted by Fluent and will feature some of our cities DOPEST Poets. If you attended AMCC before or heard the buzz...you know whats up. Come open and leave uplifted as Men from Detroit's tremendous Art community show you what dedication is all about. The night will include a live band, $5 drink specials, A full menu of delicious food being served, 1$ Raffles for ILL gift bags and some of the best Poetry you've ever heard! Artwork will also be on display and available for purchase along with vendors selling Jewelry, Clothing and more. 

The lineup is:

Fluent
Mike Will
Caesar
Ju Hall
Alex White
Black
And Shaka Senghor

For AMCC #3 the theme is DEDICATION...

ILLPLAYBILL is dedicated to doing what we love however we want...

...what are you dedicated to?

Saturday, April 21st. Jazz Cafe Detroit. 350 Madison, Downtown Detroit.

Tickets are only $10 and are available at the door. EARLY ARRIVAL is strongly recommended for seating purposes. Doors open and 8pm and show starts PROMPTLY at 9pm.

My artwork:

Updates March 2012

My life has been a bit busy with school and projects.

 I am writing a lot mini pieces of Facebook and my other hiding place. 

I might share over here if you are interested in my public journal.

 I don't mind sharing it. :)

Are you interested in hearing my uncollected thoughts? LOL

~Valentine's Day~

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

Alone But Not Lonely: My Trip to The Art Museum

Over the past few months, I have been moping around about not having a companion. (I was dating someone long distance and then prior to that I had a summer fling (local partner) that I attended events with.) Once those dynamics ran its course, I was feeling lonely especially since it is the winter time. Bummer! However, my friend reminded me that being alone doesn't mean you are "lonely". In hopes of raising my "Debbie Downer" spirit I begin to do simply things that I once enjoyed prior to my relationships.

The wonderful thing about living in Detroit is, there is something to do daily if you are open minded! Yesterday, I went to do some research for my semester project at the library but adjacent from the library is the Detroit Institution Arts (DIA). When the bus arrive in front of the library, I decided to go look at some artifacts instead of textbooks for inspiration. BOY! I am so elated that I did because the DIA is not only AFFORDABLE but breath taking!
I spent a few hours enjoying the art, crying at the small features films with guests and even inviting myself to school tours by blending in. (Shrugs, I mean all I had to do was write in my notebook and ask questions. I am a student after-all).

I had an amazing day because I did something different than my usual coffee shop routine. It felt good to do something different and exciting alone for a change.
and as for my Winter Blues, well what winter blues?

*What is your favorite activity to do alone?
**I will continue to keep you posted on my favorite outings that I enjoy alone through my Alone But Not Lonely series.

This how the Greeks cleanse themselves with Olive Oil. 

This is from the Egyptian Series I am not certain who this was. I believe  a man and his wife. I do remember reading this piece was in honor of what they desired in their next life. Youthfulness and love. 

From the Americas Series, Two Lovers Kissing. A Older Man and a Younger Woman believe to be the Goddess of the Moon. 

African Art Series: A Man on Horse from Nigeria

This is a palace door. I recently learned that a door  with writing and symbols told wonderful messages about their family. Or even warned a intruder about the family as well. This door is not translated but I love the imagery.

Combs or commonly known as Afro Picks in America

Arabic Bowl from the Islamic Art series: The writing reads "Sincerity demands deeds..."

A modern piece of art from the African Art series. The bowl represents a woman. The long neck of the bowl is in honor of the hairstyles of Kenyan woman & the larger and round bottom is to represent the curves of the women. 

If you want more information about the DIA, visit their website at http://www.dia.org. 

You can also see the artifacts up-close by typing in the title in the search engine on their site.

I apologize for the poor photos. I used my camera phone due to leaving my camera at home.