I am not ok. While I am high functioning and coping with life. I am not ok. I am completely fearful. Why? I can't remove the image of #SonyaMassey being unalive from my head. I saw so much of myself in Sonya. I have been in my home, hearing noises and calling for help before... in my robe and gown. Cooking to calm myself down or boiling water for tea to soothe my nerves. I can't sleep because I spent time online looking at videos where people insist she brought it onto herself. For those of you who don't know, there are some reports that Sonya was having a mental breakdown. I can relate, in my experience I had psychosis. The thought of blaming a person for an illness they can't control is disturbing. Sonya needed help. I, just like her, have needed help. I couldn't continue to let these feelings of fear fester, so I am going to share with you what my emergency plan looks like as of now especially if I reach out to you in a crisis.
1. Encouragement- To encourage me to sleep. If you have the capacity, send soothing music, podcasts, TEDtalks, etc. These things help me slow down. I also immensely enjoy music, especially gospel and meditation. My patterns are if I am not getting enough rest then my brain chemistry is off. So this is the first step, encouraging me to rest.
2. Notify my loved ones- If I am not sounding "clear" or "in reality", reach out to my mother or godfather. They have experience with the third step but it's important to notify my family because they would be the ones providing direct care after treatment.
3. Seek help from a MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS CENTER- This step is something I adamantly do not like but it's NECESSARY for my health. If I am "spiraling '' out of control, TAKE ME TO A CRISIS CENTER. DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. If my loved ones can not get to me in a timely fashion, I beg of you DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. I encourage you to take me to the nearest crisis center. I will explain why this step is CRITICAL.
Two reasons:
A. My experience with the police has NOT been pleasant while in crisis. (If you want to know my personal experience, inbox me.)
B. If you call the police, they will call Emergency Medical Services (EMS) and they will bill ME for a crisis ride via ambulance. Sometimes MY insurance will not cover this expense. Being admitted to the hospital is something I used to be ASHAMED of but it’s an important step to rebalancing my brain chemistry. Undisturbed rest with no distractions for a few weeks has helped me when medication only has not.
As I mentioned earlier in the post, this is my crisis plan. It’s no blueprint for others but based on my own personal experience, observations of self and feedback from my loved ones over the last 8 years. I do feel it’s also important to take a moment to discuss your crisis plan. Mental illness affects your loved ones too. I also encourage you if your smartphone has a medical emergency plan, update it. If you have any questions on my experience with hospitalizations or how to seek resources out, my inbox is always open.
I hope this is helpful.
Transparently Growing, Caprice aka Caziah
REST IN POWER, #SONYAMASSEY
RESOURCES:
News article on new Detroit Crisis Center
The Detroit Wayne Integrated Health Network
National Alliance on Mental Illness
**If you want to recommend a mental health hospital in the Metro Detroit, please inbox me.
I was shadow banned on that other site so I use my blog to share in case you need support.
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