I am silent supporter of several blogs.
*Chuckles*
Something I need to do is comment on the postings of my favorite bloggers but sometimes I don't know what to say unless I because I can be a bit chatty on topics that interest me. However, I think when credit and respect is due, you should encourage and support someone.
*HEARTY LAUGHTER*
* But-ta-rah*
The last time I commented on blogger's posting it lead them to ask me if I had Asperger Syndrome, because I jump through topics quickly,
which really hurt my feelings.
which really hurt my feelings.
I called my partner and best friend to ask them if I had any traits of Asperger.
*I know, dramatic right?
I do have a mental illness and it's my fear that I will develop others as I aged or there is
one that has not been recognized.
Needless, to say I stop commenting on blogs because of the comment made.
one that has not been recognized.
Needless, to say I stop commenting on blogs because of the comment made.
So it is bit awkward for me to converse with new individuals these days.
*I like to read people to understand how I can approach them. I design a game plan in my head how to hide my thoughts and personality. Something, my partner tells me to stop doing, just be my awkward self. People will accept me or they won't. I am not a defective because I am chatty and awkward.
My BEST friend echoes this to me as well. :)
My friend "Joe" said in the years to come "everyone" will be recognized as having a mental illness because it's very common and overlooked. *He has a longer explanation scientific reason for this but I don't have all the verbiage.*
So I have a wonderful support system that loves me and understands my awkwardness.
WHO CARES IF I SOUND LIKE A FRAZZLED BUBBLY BEING RIGHT? *Side eye* Right?
I am really shy around certain topics like, coughs, conversing about myself. The internet allows me to slowly place my thoughts in order to come across fluent and sounded. (pun intended). Things that I am not when I am EXCITED or NERVOUS.
I used to just be OVERLY goofy and silly to mask my personality a bit. I was known for being the goof ball but now I am not so much of a goof ball anymore I'm actually more relaxed .
No more hiding behind a lot
LAYERS
and personas,
alias/names,
projects,
my friends,
my partners
and more layers.
Just plain ol' Caziah.
I think a combination of surrounding myself around STRONG individuals. Usually people you can "eat" a lot wisdom from and very OPINIONATED, therapy, journaling/blogging, and LISTENING to myself has helped me reach this point to relax with just being me.
Um, so where was you going with this Caziah? You are not following what you entitled this!
Oh, so over the holiday break, I begin to look and examine why I like a lot of the following bloggers. Well, one I realized is that a lot the bloggers are like what I aspire to be: Comfortable in their own skin.
Here's my favorite bloggers list... *I do know some of them now... because they reached out to me. snickers
http://bitchlybizness.tumblr.com/
http://dwntn81det.tumblr.com/
http://www.intelsexualism.blogspot.com/
http://dwntn81det.tumblr.com/
http://www.intelsexualism.blogspot.com/
http://darkdaughta.blogspot.com
Thank you, Dark being such a light in my life. You are purely authentic and real. I love how you are sooooooooooooooo warm and welcoming!
Thank you, Dark being such a light in my life. You are purely authentic and real. I love how you are sooooooooooooooo warm and welcoming!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Caziah. But also thank you for being so out in the open about what you've been experiencing.
ReplyDeleteI think all us Black folks could learn a thing or two from your transparency.
I think that as a peopling, we have the space but also the responsibility to redefine "crazy", to substitute this racist, oppressive labeling of us, our families, our children, our ancestors, our descendants with words that demand respect for the ways we see, gaze on and move through the world...with a difference.
Neuro atypical people are more common than we had imagined. Neuro atypical Black people exist and nothing is wrong with that experience. We do all lie along continuums of brain function.
Everyone.
i LOVE your gorgeous honesty...and nothing hinders our brilliance worse than when we hinder ourselves...keep conversing, Caziah...
ReplyDelete